


dry eyes; everyone is blind

by merits



Series: time is the place where nobodies reside [1]
Category: unOrdinary (Webcomic)
Genre: :D, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, Talking, ahaha it's all gonna go downhill from here :, basically one-sided/unrequited rn though, some mentions of remi/sera and kuyo/rei, tea (literally)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27290068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merits/pseuds/merits
Summary: The warmth of a home is stifling, especially when you feel alone.
Relationships: Kuyo & Remi (unOrdinary)
Series: time is the place where nobodies reside [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992592
Kudos: 11





	dry eyes; everyone is blind

**Author's Note:**

> I'm into Kuyo/Rei AKA Reiyo, so this marks the start of the series. Fair warning for some internalized homophobia, it's kind of central to this part. Kuyo is 17, Remi is 13. Both are figuring out some stuff. Also if you interpret this as romantic or shippy I'm legally required to take your bones ! :) /lighthearted

“Kuyo? Rei’s not gonna be home for a while, he and mom went out. Wanna wait for them?” Remi greets him, instead, long pink hair tucked into a messy bun close to the top of her neck. She smiles at him; she’s always been friendly to him, especially now.

Kuyo shoves his hands into his pockets and starts looking at the tree in their yard. Pink blossoms still flutter in the wind, cascading down on their driveway like summer rain. “Sure.”

_ Would Mom have liked to see the tree? _

Remi shuts the door and heads to the kitchen, saying, “I’ll make some tea.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to—”

“Please. I insist. We have a lot, it’d be better if I got rid of it anyway.”

“Alright,” he responds before sitting on the couch.  _ What day is it, even? Saturday? _

He sees the framed photos on top of the fireplace, hears the clunks and clangs of the pots, hears Remi humming some song from the Heathers’ Musical off-key. There’s no familiarity like this at home, replaced with the strange sensation of wanting, of not knowing this at heart. There’s jealousy burning in his fingertips, the sheer dread of not having enough time to establish this in his own home. There’s nothing like this at his house, with one person gone and two people always out of the house, away from the silent chaos. He shivers.

_ Oh, _ he thinks.  _ This is home. This is a home. This is a home, and I don't belong. _

He chuckles bitterly under his breath. _How cruel._

“Hey,” Remi holds out a cup of tea. He grabs it, gingerly, and she sits down. “What were you thinking about? Something stupid?”

Kuyo chuckles under his breath. “Nothing important. Maybe I’ll tell Rei later. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you though, how are you?”

Remi smiles, warm and soft. “I’m okay. Just hanging out with friends a lot. Isen and John don’t like to stay inside very much, so I spend most of my weekends going to the mall or the movies.

“That’s good! Keep those friends, they’ll be your friends for life.”

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“Please.” Kuyo sets the cup down onto his lap. “Gossip spreads,” he laughs. “You talk so much that Rei tells me everything he knows about them. It’s almost as much as he talks about his club members.”

“Wha—I don’t talk  _ that _ much!”

“He even imitates your voice! Like John is the fighter, has temper issues, but is a good guy. Blyke is a stupid, impulsive bitch, Isen literally doesn’t give a fuck about anything, and even I know about Arlo because Rei is tutoring him! And DON’T. Even get me started on Seraphina! You must talk about her a lot.”

Remi’s cheeks flush at this, pink blossoming across her face quickly, ears turning red. The cup starts shaking in her trembling hands; he can hear it rattle against the saucer. Kuyo closes his eyes. “Relax, I was just joking.”

“O-Oh. Oh. Yeah! Of course!” Her voice is shaky, shaky, blocked in her throat. “You were joking.”

The rattling of the cup doesn’t stop, and suddenly Kuyo feels colder. “Remi?” He asks seriously. “Is there something going on at school?”

“W-What? No, of course not!” Her voice gets higher in pitch. “Nothing’s  _ wrong, _ Kuyo, you don’t have to worry!”

He’s not mad; he’s hurt. “Remi.  _ Remi.” _

“I told you,” she starts yelling. “Nothing’s wrong! Everything’s fine! I’m doing well in school and my friends are great and I’m having a good time and I just like girls a lot and—”

He hears her voice, wet and pained, before he sees the tears well up in her eyes and drop onto her lap. “I just, I like  _ girls _ and everything’s fine.”

“Hey.” He places the cup on the table, careful not to break it, and scoots closer to her. “Hey what’s wrong? Remi, what’s wrong?” He grabs the cup and saucer from her before she drops it and spills scalding tea all over herself.

“Nothing’s wrong, nothing’s  _ wrong, _ I don’t know why I’m crying nothing’s  _ wrong-!” _

“Remi…”

“It’s just...you know, right? You know?”

She sounds so much like a kid, and he remembers that she  _ is  _ a kid, that she’s thirteen and not twenty-four, that she acts so mature but she  _ isn’t _ because she’s a kid and she had to grow up faster because people grew up too slowly.

“What do I know?”

“You know….liking your best friend. Liking someone the same as you.”

“What are you talking about….?”

Remi sniffles and rubs her puffy eyes before continuing, “I know. I know how it feels. And it hurts. It hurts so much, Kuyo.”

“Hey—”

“And  _ I know. _ I know they would accept it. Me being gay and all. I know they would be fine with it. But—it’s so fucking scary! It’s so scary, I don’t wanna tell them, I don’t wanna apologize because I’m not normal, because what would they think? What would everyone think? I’m their  _ daughter. _ Their  _ gay daughter. _ ”

Her shoulders heave, and her whole body is wracked by sobs, hands on her face. She hasn’t cried in so long.

And he’s guilty that his first thought is,  _ I like Rei? _

“I’m sorry—this is stupid—you’re my brother’s best friend and I told you first and I’m crying to  _ you _ of all people—”

“Don’t apologize for this,” he says gently.

“It’s just—I didn’t want to be alone.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that.

♥♥♥

“Do you plan on telling your family soon? Rei?” Kuyo picks up his tea, now lukewarm, takes a tentative sip.

Her cheeks are swollen and her eyes are red and she still sniffles before she says, “No. Maybe. I don’t know. Maybe not yet. Just until I can get this all figured out, y’know? I don’t wanna….I need time to prepare.” She rambles, words barely coherent, but he knows so well.

Kuyo smiles down at her, pats her head. “You’re a good kid. They’ll love you.”

“I know, I know now. It’s— _ I’m _ not ready yet.”

“That’s fine, kiddo—”

“You’re only four years older than me!” She interjects, before laughing.

“—they’ll love you regardless. They’ll accept it. If Rei doesn’t, I’ll beat him up.”

“Wha—don’t do that!”

“I am your elder. You cannot tell me what to do!”

“But, you’re gonna beat my brother up!”

“Only if he’s an ass, of course.” He says ‘of course’ like it was obvious.

“Ku—” She stops. The door opens with a click and a squeak of the hinges.

Sunlight pours into the living room, halo gold dappling every kitchen, illuminating Rei. “We’re home!”

“Hi, Rei!” She greets him as if she never started crying and breaking down in front of her older brother’s best friend.

“Yo, why didn’t you tell me you were out?” Kuyo asks casually.

“What the heck? When did you get here?” Rei scratches his cheek.

“Like, 30 minutes ago dude.”

“Crap, I’m so sorry, I had to help mom, you know—”

“Yeah yeah. I know your tendencies, dummy. Just get your stuff and then we can hang out.”

♥♥♥

“Hey, Kuyo?” He feels a tug on his sleeve and looks down at Remi, again. “Thank you.”

Kuyo moves to ruffle her hair, just like a few years ago. “Of course.”

“One question.”

“Hm?”

“When are you gonna tell my brother you like him?”

“I—I don’t—”

_ I don’t know. I don’t know if I like him. I don’t know if I can right now. I don’t understand what it means anymore. I don’t get it anymore, I don’t understand, I can’t understand now. _

“Just...promise me you won’t keep him waiting?” She questions him innocently, as if the sweat on his forehead and his clammy hands are unnoticeable. Nonexistent.

“I...I can’t promise. I’m sorry.”

Remi sighs, irritated. “Fine. But just. You’re his best friend, y’know? He cares about you a lot.”

“I know. Of course I know. Maybe in due time, okay?”

Remi lights up at this, cheeks glowing in pink again. “Okay!”

Kuyo leaves and walks up the stairs, sunlight barely creeping up the steps, hallway above him still painted in ink and old shadows. Maybe in due time, he’ll dispel them away, lock them away forever, never to see them again until he can’t stand on the dirt any more.

He stumbles on the last step, shivers before opening Rei’s door.

  
  
  


_ I cannot locate the origin _

_ Of slaughter, but I know _

_ How my own feels, that I live with it _

_ And sometimes use it _

_ To get the living done, _

_ Because I am what gladiators call _

_ A man in love—love _

_ Being any reminder we survived. _

_ ~ Jericho Brown, “Colosseum” _

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: stingro  
> Reddit: mer-its


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